I’m not really sure what triggered it, or if it was just something long overdue. Something has changed though, for sure. My mindset, my work ethic, my outlook on life. I guess to put it simply, I’m looking and working for the long-term. It was nice and it was fun and above all, necessary, to enjoy the change in lifestyle since I’ve come to Rome, but in some sense looking back, I feel like I’ve made it much longer than what it was really worth. That isn’t to say that I don’t appreciate everything up to this point. I really do, and I’m thankful for all of the people I’ve met, and the experiences I’ve had. I don’t mean to diminish them in any way at all. However, something has definitely changed.

For one thing, I’ve realized that if I left Rome this second, I would feel as though I had just been on an extended vacation. Sure I’ve worked long hours and waded through a lot of e-mails and newsletters and more, but I haven’t done anything I can proudly show as to what I’ve been doing here. That was a big realization and it took a long time for me to act on it and make it different. But, as I have in fact, had the damn thought, I’m sure as hell working overtime (in every sense of the word) to make up for any lost time. I guess talking about it like this does make it seem like the past nine months were a waste of time, but they really weren’t…

Does it sound like I’m trying too hard to convince myself?

Anyway, it’s funny how a single change in the way I see my time here as exponentially increased my quality of life. I guess I’m jumping the gun a little, as it’s only really been a week, but the kicker is that I see my return date for going home as more of a deadline rather than the day I resume to normal life. I guess in some ways I’ve accepted that my life, whether it’s lived in Rome, America, or Korea, is still my life. Every day counts to future days, and I need to live them with passion and integrity so I can look back and see clearly how and why I’ve come to this point. I’m really hoping that I’ve had this in me all along, and I’ve just been “distracted” thus far, but I wouldn’t be upset knowing the contrary. In fact, if I returned home right this moment, it would sting less, knowing that at least I’ve learned this much in my time here. Which in really what I’m looking for I guess, justification.